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I believe he was alluding to the fact that young people want companionship, intimate companionship, but aren't really sure they can have that without being condemned by fellow Muslims.It's a valid question because, if we aren't totally arranging marriages of young Muslims, how are they supposed to meet each other?Almost immediately, a few members of the group responded resolutely along the lines of: "There is no premarital sex in Islam, and we shouldn't waste our time talking about this." One woman explained why sex outside of marriage is forbidden in Islam, for very good reasons. Sex outside of marriage is an injustice against women, as any negative consequences of such actions are almost totally shouldered by them, specifically pregnancy. Basically, if you want to have sex and be a good Muslim, you should get married.In addition, a few offered that the Prophet's solution to carnal desires was to fast, to learn patience and self-control, and to marry, even at a young age. Technically, there is no explicit prohibition against premarital sex in the Qur'an, but there are several implicit indicators against it: encouragement of marriage at a young age, modesty in appearance, and so on. This discussion was taking place at the time of the public disclosure of President Clinton's affair with former White House intern Monica Lewinsky.Most on the distribution list seemed to be saying regarding infidelity and sexual misconduct, that we shouldn't talk about sex when there were more important things going in the country and world.But, I was upset that this issue wasn't taken more seriously.
Why should I marry young to fulfill desires but risk my education and career for a family?It is a well-known fact that Islamic religious or cultural events are often segregated by gender?It is Islamically permissible for a couple to meet in chaperoned, or group environment.Good girls like me were, as Tom Petty once sang, "sitting home with broken hearts" and had little prospect of a marriage we'd be pleased with.Furthermore, some of the players, who were the children of immigrant Muslims usually, would eventually ask their mothers to find them nice girls from their home country, not girls like me who were supposedly already corrupted by American life.
Why do I have to live like a nun with no companionship until I consent to an arranged marriage?