She is more likely to meet a Jeff than a Zuckerberg.
Years after Jeff, I was newly single and talking to my stepmom about how I wasn’t going to settle or fall into another relationship because I was comfortable.
I began to realize how important it was to be with someone who wasn’t dependent on me (or their mom), but who chooses — every morning when he kisses me on the forehead, and every night when I give in to his questionable Netflix suggestions — to be with me, and I with him. Most of my life, I wasn’t sure if I ever wanted to get married — probably because it seemed impossible to be able to stand someone, anyone, for the rest of my life.
But now I understand that when you have a bond that’s multi-faceted, and you’re with a partner who’s your equal, your best friend and your very own beacon of smoldering grins, you’re willing to drop the paranoia of who will leave first.
To find someone who could hold his own and not get on my nerves. I went out with a guy who paid all of his bills on time, but who couldn’t stand up for himself.
His failed marriage didn’t make him defected, but a man who had been through some stuff and had been forced to grow — and that was refreshing.
He took me to museums and talked about politics deeper than a 16-page article, and at first I worried that he was too smart, too cultured for me, but once I got over my insecurities and learned to find my legs on this equal ground, I felt brighter to form opinions about his opinions, and more inspired in my own writing to see the artwork he was creating.
I complained about how I was able to take chances in my career and move across the country several times, high on the promise that I’d land a job and an apartment when I got there.
But for some reason, I hadn’t taken the risk to dive into a deeper pool of dudes.