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Posted by / 04-Jul-2020 17:49

Our desire to be liked by others is a literal survival technique – the more people like us, the less likely they are to throw us out into the cold to survive or die on our own. One of the insidious things about external validation is just it feels.We live in a culture that’s obsessed with external validation. Social media allows us to control our public personas in ways we could before.Humans are social animals after all, and part of living in a group means being conscious of how you are regarded by others.Being liked and approved of by the group once meant the literal difference between life and death.Humans are complex beasts when you get under the hood.We have an incredibly elaborate system desires and wants that are ultimately separate from what we need to survive.We’re outsourcing responsibility for our emotional well-being, even our own identity to other people because we want them to think well of us.

You are pressured to uphold a very particular lifestyle because it’s “more alpha”, regardless of whether that’s where your interests lie.

You see, the question of what you rely on to make you feel good about yourself tells you a lot about how you prioritize the importance of how others see you versus how you see yourself.

We’re talking, of course, about your source of validation: whether you rely on validation from others or whether you rely on internal validation.

They put up a persona instead of being who they really are, trying to back-door their way into a relationship that they feel they could never get if they were honest and up front.

Our culture puts a great deal of pressure on us to look a certain way, to follow these specific metrics for success, to live this particular lifestyle, to be as popular as possible.

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(And, y’know, I love the way so many people who saw the movie about your life in general.

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