Dating someone with an ostomy
I know most teenagers don’t have a real understanding of that but for me, I also felt this huge need to experience all I could because I had missed out and was continuing to miss out on so much.
I had the mentality of if the opportunity was in front of me, don’t walk away because who knows what could happen with my health.
Then, two days before my high school graduation, I was intimate with someone who I liked but knew I would never ever get attached to, only because I wanted the experience. Anyway, we had been dating for a while, sort of on and off, and had a very complicated relationship.
Not to be TMI but since there were some “technical issues” the first time, I wasn’t sure if I had truly lost my virginity. I had absolutely no idea what love really was or what the act of making love should be.
I always got away with saying it is a bandage from a surgery I had to cover my incision.
If I got any questions about it, I would say I had a wound infection and it is just there to keep it clean. Remember that you are not just your ostomy and even though it may take over the majority of your thoughts and it is something you are hypersensitive about, everyone that knows and loves you isn’t thinking about it.
It is why I hid so much from most of the people I dated.
I know how hard it is to share with a teenage boy or girl that you have an ostomy.It will help alleviate so much of the burden and energy of keeping such a huge secret.Also, maybe your friends can help you figure out the best clothes to wear for a date, or if you are in a relationship that has progressed further, talking about some of your fears with your friends can help make the experience a little easier for you.If you take a little time to explain things, it might make it less scary and begin an open dialogue which could bring you two even closer.Having someone just google “ostomy” can oftentimes be a lot scarier than if you explained it yourself.
As a follow up to my first post about dating and intimacy with an ostomy I wanted to talk about and address some of the more ‘hard to talk about’ things in the life of a teenager who has an ostomy.